It seems as if Glen had a joke for every occasion. Even something as simple as asking him what time it was would be answered with his classic, “Oh.. it’s about ten minutes till now.” It was only a few years after his diagnosis of Alzheimer’s that the meaning of the word ‘now’ starting changing for him, and for me, as his caregiver.
As the disease worsened and progressively robbed Glen of his memory and other basic functions, time was no longer something he thought or worried about. Whether he wanted to or not, he began to live in the moment – always in the “now.” I, however, was painfully aware of every hour, day, week and month as they flew by. I felt as if I was aging alone, and given the stress from being a caregiver… rapidly! Our once very busy social and work calendars were suddenly marked with little else besides doctor visits and notes of his progression from stage to stage, with no regularity or predictability at all.
As the years passed, I became not only worried about ‘now,’ but about ‘tomorrow’ as well.
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Now, a year after Glen’s passing, I find myself sitting in the beachside kitchen of my friend Jane Seymour, thinking about my new reality and what I am going to do with my life ‘now,’ when I notice a whimsical clock hanging on the wall. It looks like a standard clock-face, but with the word “NOW” in the place of every number! This makes perfect sense knowing Jane the way I do – it’s just the kind of woman she is. Jane chooses to always live in the ‘now’ as a celebration of life and joy, and the thought of learning how to do this for myself brings me great comfort.
After all, God’s greatest gift to us is time, and He gives it to all of us equally. There are only 24 hours in a day, seven days in a week, and a short number of years we have each been given. I thought for a moment about this bit of scripture and wondered why I had even wasted a single minute worrying instead of using that minute to praise God, to thank Him, and to serve Him by serving others.
Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:27, 34
Thanks to my faith in God, my friends, and an inspiring husband who continues to teach me lessons about life even after his passing, I am finally starting feel good not only about my life ‘now,’ but ‘tomorrow’ as well.
What a wonderful lesson. My husband has moderate dementia at age 59. I am 54 and a full time caregiver. We are trying to enjoy everyday to its fullest right now and not think about tomorrow.
It has relieved a lot of stress for me to just enjoy the “now.”
My Partner and I Have been together for 54 Years on August 22md 2018 He is in a assisted Living center I go 3 to 4 times a week to see him He cannot verbalize that Much but I still See the Love in his eyes when I am there. I also belong to a loving support group that meets once a month which is a great Help Any caregiver need to take care of themselves 1st in order to care for their Loved ones with this terrible disease..
Hi Kim, once again a wonderful article shared from the heart to help others who’s hearts are hurting. My husband was diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma – an incurable cancer caused by exposure to asbestos which is still in so manty products world wide today! My husband has just past the one year mark prognosis he was given and over this past year we too, after the initial shock wore off, have tried to learn to live in the moment, taking each day as it comes, and on the bad days, each hour or moment – so this article spoke volumes to me. thank you for sharing. At 76 years of age I have followed and loved your husbands music and my heart broke when I read about his diagnoses and also for you, and how it would, and did change your life. Dark valleys for any terminal diseases are so very hard to walk through and I am so thankful I find my strength, courage and peace in Him. Bless you Kim.
Thank you for sharing this inspirational story of yours Kim. I’ve also read the comments and it seems that everyone who went here also experienced the same feelings you had. And this article really helped us readers to be inspired and motivated that life must go on and we should live in the moment. Please keep on inspiring everyone! 🙂
I just heard you speak yesterday, at the Northern Virginia Caregivers’ Conference, in Alexandria, Virginia. My husband has Alzheimer’s. I was able to take care of him for several years at home, before placing him in a wonderful home for dementia patients. Your sharing with us has touched my heart. Our ultimate hope is the knowledge of seeing our loved ones again in heaven. I’m praying for you.
Joan McCarty
Thank you, Kim for being so generous to share with those of us who are caregivers struggling to be in the NOW moment each day with our love ones who have this horrific disease! I am my husband’s advocate and caregiver and the roller coaster ride of everything gets to be too much for me at times. I use prayer times for my stability and strength and constantly try to figure out how to make everything work better in caring for my husband with minimal family support. I recognize the discomfort and the busyness of others lives and also the struggle to get help for us both when our financial situation is very limited. My heart hurts for so many people who are grieving and struggling with their own life experiences of caregiving and the patients needing it. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experiences with us! May you have God’s Peace with you and your family. 🙏🏻♥️🤗
Thankyou Kim. I was so pleased to meet you at Glen’s concert in Northampton on his final UK tour. I hope you are managing as best you can, Glen was certainly blessed to have such a beautiful & caring wife!